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When it comes to gridiron football, the general population have the idea of large, angry men crashing into each other at full speed in order to knock each other into oblivion while trying to get an oblong ball into the end zone by any means necessary. It’s the American way.

But not all positions in football are created equal: wide receivers are usually leaner, and prone to whining; running backs are shorter, stockier, and prone to doing work instead of talk; quarterbacks are seen as field generals, dating actresses and super-models, just like in high school.

And then there are the place-kickers. They kick. When they score an extra point or field goal, it’s expected. When they miss, they are crucified right then and there on the goal posts. Sometimes they run. When they tackle someone, the whole stadium is surprised. This is the position that former uber-supermodel Kathy Ireland filled in the movie Necessary Roughness, and Dee Reynolds (played by Kaitlyn Olson) took on in It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia, and no one batted an eye. This is the position that a real life woman, Lauren Silberman, tried out for. This isn’t to say that women can’t play football, but it makes sense that they would start off with the least aggressive position on the field: kicker.

With that said, we decided to kick off our “Too Soon” rankings preview for NFL fantasy football by breaking down the rankings of kickers. Sure, kickers may be dropped before preseason. Sure, a team may pick up a semi-pro boonhaurball kicker from Germany because he can boot a limestone rock 40 yards. Sure, kickers are usually the last players selected in fantasy football drafts, and are dropped on their bye week because, seriously, who cares? (Unless you are in a league that has yardage bonuses and you happen to have Steve Hauschka. Nope, I still dropped him when his bye week came around.) Some of these kickers haven’t even signed to their last team yet.

We will get more in depth with all positions as the NFL season draws closer (yes, even the kickers) but, for now, here is our rankings list based on:

a) Team scoring potential.

b) Team non-scoring potential, but ability to get close enough for a field goal.

c) Stadium conditions.

d) Experience.

e) Last but not totally least, kicker’s ability to kick a football.

Have questions about kicker rankings? Seriously? Or just want to tell me how ridiculous my rankings are, or that I started with kickers in the first place? Go ahead and comment, or yell at me on Twitter @Patrick_AE

Fantasy Football Pre-Rankings 2015
Updated: 8-22-2015
Player Team Rank Bye Week
Adam Vinatieri IND K1 10
Stephen Gostkowski NE K2 4
Steven Hauschka SEA K3 9
Cody Parkey PHI K4 8
Connor Barth DEN K5 7
Matt Bryant ATL K6 10
Dan Bailey DAL K7 6
Mason Crosby GB K8 7
Justin Tucker BAL K9 9
Chandler Catanzaro ARI K10 9
Blair Walsh MIN K11 5
Matt Prater DET K12 9
Greg Zuerlein STL K13 6
Nick Folk NYJ K14 5
Dan Carpenter BUF K15 8
Garrett Hartley PIT K16 11
Caleb Sturgis MIA K17 5
Phil Dawson SF K18 10
Nick Novak SD K19 10
Cairo Santos KC K20 9
Josh Brown NYG K21 11
Graham Gano CAR K22 5
Mike Nugent CIN K23 7
Dustin Hopkins NO K24 11
Robbie Gould CHI K25 7
Randy Bullock HOU K26 9
Kai Forbath WAS K27 8
Sebastian Janikowski OAK K28 6
Josh Scobee JAC K29 8
Patrick Murray TB K30 6
Ryan Succop TEN K31 4
Carey Spear CLE K32 11


About Author

Pat Emmel is better at talking about sports than actually playing them.